What Kind of Love Are You?

The mistake we make is when we seek to be loved, instead of loving. What makes us cowardly is the fear of losing that love.” – Charlotte Yonge

It’s true. The root of every last bit of misery in love is expectation. Both subconsciously and out in plain sight, we show up with our hands out – wanting our love to play out in the most demonstrative of ways.

Satisfy me.
Validate me.
Accept me.
Listen to me.
Think of me.
Prove you love me.
Respect me.

Once you do all of that for ME… I’ll love you back.

As humans, as individuals, we can only give so much to another. We will inevitably fall short of other people’s expecations… and that’s when love gets weird and confusing. Well, it just seems that way – it’s the part of our minds that’s wrapped up in those expecations that’s weird and confusing. It’s like we forget that our Beloved has a life of their own.

That one, or two, you want to be hugged up with was not made to make you feel loved. No. Their mama and papa weren’t thinking of you when they conceived your heart’s desire – and they certainly didn’t have your best interests at heart as they raised and guided your Love into adulthood. Yet, you expect so much of them to be about you when it’s you that needs to be more about You.

Yes, that is the greatest mistake we make in love – seeking to be loved instead of loving. It’s the fear we feel when all those expectations aren’t met that inspires us to pull back – to ration out the love we feel in our hearts.

All those times you thought you were without love, you had it all along – the drone of your expectations kept distracting you from it.

So, do you stand before your beloved with your hands out, or are your arms wide open? I mean both arms, not one arm inviting an embrace with a hand stuck out between you. Are both your arms open in such a way that exposes every beat of that loving heart of yours?

1. Honor your desires so that you live a satisfying life.
2. Validate yourself by pushing towards and achieving your goals.
3. Accept who you are.
4. Listen to and act upon your thoughts.
5. Let your individual imprint on this World be an example of what you love about your Self.
6. Show respect for your Self by being the love you seek.

And there you’ll stand – already complete, all aglow with a healthy lust for your incredible life. It is then that you’re able to freely give, give, and give some more of your lovin’ without fear, without expectation. It is also then that you’ll receive love in amazing abundance because people won’t feel the pressure of living up to your expecations, or just plain scared of getting close to you.

Love is simple, really. How does the adage go? … you can’t love anyone until you love yourself. That’s Truth!